No Air, No Air

YES!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

=) Hehe. What am i screaming like a lunatic for? Haha! It's a surprise. Only a certain few may ask what i'm up to - that also depends if i wanna say it or not. Hehe. But i hope i'm not getting high hopes for it when i come over that place again. What if i go there, and they say... *censored*

Oh darn, i hope i'm not hoping too much. But oh well. YAY!!!! Hehe. Oh, right now you're listening to a very lovely song. You should watch the video, it's better. It's by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. They look good together but unfortunately, i heard Chris Brown might be wit Rihanna. Hmm... What d'ya all think about that? Hehe. These are the lyrics if you're looking for it. Lovely lyrics too. =)

Right now i am having my 2-months vacation from school. Hopefully when i look at my main exam results, i pass my papers and there's no reason for me to take Supp Paper. I plan not to, but if God guides me to that dark path, then i am forced to follow. LOL, it is only Supp paper. I'll just have to work harder to make sure i pass this paper. Oh and if my hopes are answered, and that my feelings aren't being played, i will snap piccys and you'll understand what i mean.

That also depends if i wanna advertise myself to the WWW. Hehe.

Here are the lyrics! Enjoy the song as you read this short, short post. =) Hehe.

"No Air"
(Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown)

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus x2]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

Work, FOOOOOODDD, and slippers

I wanna work!!!! I am serious, i so wanna wanna work! I have very interesting bookmarks on my Mozilla Firefox but they're asking for resumes. I don't friggin' have one! Shit. I wanna ask my dad to help me write one but i was afraid he might laugh at me, for God knows why. LOL. Well, i have to admit blogging here has turned into a nuisance/pest. But that ain't stopping me from writing anyways. I have both writer's and blogger's block and because of that i am going insane.

I just finished my Maths Main Exam, and guess what? I AM GONNA TAKE THE SUPP PAPER. Yes, how am i so confident? Well, most of the questions i can do, but the friggin' irritating part of the whole thing was that i have the methods in my head, BUT I CANNOT FRIGGIN' SOLVE THE FRIGGIN' QUESTION. How friggin' terrible is that? Sheesh! And now i have two more papers to deal with on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively.

On Monday there's the Academy Awards and i can't wait to watch it LIVE at 9am. After that i shall head off to the school library to meet up with Tassha and the others who wanna study NetFund. Not that i am being confident, but i think i can make it. But not with an A mark, though. Unfortunately. Oh well, as long as i pass papers that i can really do that won't be such a bummer at all. But the Maths paper, ARGH!!! I CANNOT AFFORD TO TAKE SUPP PAPER, OR REPEAT THE WHOLE FRIGGIN' 6 MONTHS! Shit, i cannot waste time and embarrass myself. No no. Not gonna happen. NO!

Sigh. OK, my emotions are shooting through the roof because of one reason: MY ONLY PAIR OF LOVELY BROWN SLIPPERS HAS DIED. Yes, it died. The whole slipper came off and i had to drag my feet across dirty cement just outside CDC-UBI towards an awaiting taxi in a very packed traffic jam. I was so pissed because i had to stand half the time in the waiting room with my brother, and now under the hot sun i had to wait for at least 30 mins just to get a taxi that isn't HIRED. Halfway through, my boyfriend called and he was pissed because i let out my steam on him. Please, i have better things to do than yell at him just because of this. I'm not angry at him in the first place, what's the use of it right? Then he was being sensitive and said he wanna hang up. There he goes, making me feel friggin' guilty when i hadn't done anything wrong.

But right when we hung up, the taxi came and boy did i feel relieved. I had to embarrass myself all the way towards the taxi, and for giggles, THERE WAS A DOUBLE-DECKER BUS just beside me and i can tell they're all staring at me wondering what the hell was wrong with my right foot. I got into the taxi and thanked God for a pretty short distance towards my silver savior on wheels.

What an embarrassing and stupid experience! I've never gone through a snapped slipper in the middle of a busy road before. But i guess it's high time it did happen to me. Oh well, whatever. I'm home now, that's all that matters. =)

Oh and before i forget, to DILY my love, GOOD LUCK TO YOUR PRACTICAL DRIVING TEST! You know i'm gonna be there for you, right? I will hug you for whichever is the outcome come Tuesday. Hopefully you get a nice officer sitting beside you, too. =)

Rights, peeps. Off i go. Hungry, hungry, hungry!

Lana

Sick, sick, LOLOLOL

I am sick!!!! Darnit, of all times to be sick, it just had to be a few days before my main exam. How convenient is that? But then again, it's not that serious of a sickness, just the common cough and sore throat. Other than that i am perfectly fine. Well, there is of course the sluggish-feeling of looking ugly during such sicknesses, and the shaky fingers and limp limbs. Haiz...

Oh and sorry for not updating any sooner. I've not been busy, just gotten lazy. LOL. Oh and i met my dearest boyfriend on Friday and Saturday afternoon for a nice talk and laughter. He was so sweet to come down to my place for two days just to make me happy. Gosh, i so love him. LOL. Anyways, my holidays have begun and i am soooooooo ready to take my exams and jump into Year 2. Why? BECAUSE MATHS IS LONG GONE!!!

Hehehe. Great isn't it? Yesh, yesh. But the problem is that i might not be able to fully pass my EMaths 2. I failed both quizzes and my Term Test, so even a miracle can't truly save me unless i work hard. Yup2. I can't afford to take Supp paper, really. Or to repeat the 6 months of the same grueling EMaths 2. *screams*

Oh well, right now, i'm doing my TeleSys revision, writing notes down and memorizing most of the formulas. Hopefully i can stuff them all in my head. =) Good luck to all my TP peeps in your exams! Oh and to those who are willing to study wit the class, come to the library at 10am. Particularly, bring your Maths stuffs. Or whichever subject you're weak at. LOL. Cya!

Lana: LOLOLOL
The Boyfriend: *grabs her neck* Gimme your money!
Lana: *blinks and looks over to her little purse on the table* It's there. Go take.
The Boyfriend: *stares at me blankly*
Lana: *stares back*
Both of us: LOLOLOLOLOL

Hahahhahahahah. Take care y'all!

XOXO

Lana

the 20-year old list

20 reasons why you love being 20-years old:-

1 * I'm no longer a teen

2 * Makes me mature in heart and in mind

3 * My thoughts will no longer be childish

4 * Whatever happens, I have the higher authority (I'm the oldest sib)

5 * Feels better to be 20 than sweet 16

6 * Nobody can tell you you are misplaced

7 * A year after that I can watch R-21 (LOL. J/K. I don't)

8 * I can start earning more than $500

9 * Makes me sound wiser, smarter

10 * Mom no longer have reasons to exclude me from adult conversations

11 * Mom has no choice but to let me out of the house and back at 10pm

12 * No one can call me a child, or treats me as such

13 * Even if others think I look old, I don't have to care coz' i already am *cough20cough*

14 * Wearing specs doesn't prove I'm blind, but i am mature and smart =p

15 * I can talk with a deeper voice, not screech like a raving banshee

16 * I can laugh behind a slender hand, not roar like a lion

17 * Class and sophistication come hand in hand in my 20-year old vocab

18 * Unfortunately, Disney Channel and Nickelodeon has got to go

19 * Excuses for reading Contemporary Romance books with graphic scenes are NO LONGER

20 * Writing a book still is my dream, no matter how old i become

~*~

So! A list done out of boredom. My boredom, unfortunately. And yes, i am turning 20 VERY SOON. =) But not so soon though, however sad that sounds. LOL. I can't wait to have the feel of being 20. Oh and the reason why i'm listing this because i'm preparing for another list i've yet to do coming this March. =) Some may know what i'm talking about, but most might not. I won't tell until i will. =p Hehe.

Oh and if you're wondering how i'm doing in school, well, i think i'm gonna fail two subjects and havta take Supp papers which i despise the whole world for. Therefore i cannot fail any of the subjects involved in main paper. I dearly hope my WebApp teacher can pass me, because my test paper i did was horrendous. I so hope he'd make me pass. I cannot stand taking supp papers.

Anyways, here i end. =) Take care!

Lana

friends become traitors

I'M TIRED. I'm tired of ignoring the wrong things they do. I'm tired of making up excuses for them so i could forgive and forget - when i know well i can't do such thing. I'm tired of loving them like sistaz when they're not treating me as such. Why can't all my friends see how much i do for them? How many times i've been their shoulder to cry on, how many times i've been wiping their tears away, and how many times i've helped them? WHY CAN'T THEY BLOODY SEE WHAT I DO FOR THEM? HOW MUCH TIME I SACRIFICED, HOW MUCH TLC I GIVE FOR THEM, AND HOW MUCH EXCUSES I MADE FOR THEM SO I COULD IGNORE THEIR CRUELTY?!

Simply put: I AM TIRED. I am tired of doing this. Too many people have dampened my spirit and heart and i am just bloody tired. I am not bothered to make up excuses. I am not bothered to forgive and forget what they do. I am not even bothered to understand their reasons because i know it'll end up ridiculous and unfair TO ME. Just because i get angry at certain things they tell me, DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA BE ANGRY MY WHOLE LIFE! YOU'RE JUST MAKING EXCUSES TO HIDE YOUR SECRETS! How cruel and low can they get?! What is this? Now i don't understand the true meaning of friendship. I don't understand it any longer. I've suffered enough of this pain, bawled too much tears to comprehend why i became such a crybaby over it, and i've given them too much face it's to a point where it's useless. USELESS.

I am making an effort to not hurt them, to be careful with their feelings, and what do i get? NOTHING BUT CRUELTY AND UNFAIRNESS. Nothing but that. How can i love them if they're not going to love me? How am i going to treat them like my sistaz when they don't treat me the same? They wanna huddle together and keep secrets from me because they're afraid of how i'm gonna react?! WELL, YOU ARE ONE HUGE COWARD. FACE THE CONSEQUENCES IF YOU'RE SO AFRAID! I FACED MINE, WHY CAN'T YOU FACE YOURS?! YOU SAY YOU HATE BACKSTABBERS, LIARS, HYPOCRITES. BUT YOU'RE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF ONE AND I HATE IT.

I just wanna rub it in your face and tell you that you are one of them, but because i care about you and your FEELINGS, i kept my mouth shut. The biggest regret i made, was to have written something so sweet in your profile, and to have been bombed down with the biggest betrayal i've ever encountered. Only you can pull it off, no one else.

[To readers: Forgive me, truly. I have no one to talk to and i just cannot take it when it comes to betrayal. I've had enough of disloyalty, enough of hypocrites who say they love me when they don't. I've just had enough. And i am sorry if i made you pissed at what i'm saying but please, do not flame, just blog-hop to somewhere else.]

I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

For all i care

So so, i've been foolishly neglecting this poor love and no, i am not gonna explain or blab why i have been . The only thing i can tell you is that i have been BUSY, BUSY, BUSY. I've been nothing but busy! With projects, family stuffs, boyfriend stuffs, friend stuffs - all kinds of stuffs. Lol. But oh well, isn't that part and parcel of life? *nods nods*

Oh and YAY to me for finding a pretty skin for my lovely blog-blog. Ain't it gorgeous-lookin'. Oh yes yes. *mind the hyper*

Anyways, right now i am dead bored, i have nothing to do, and i think i have friends who aren't talking to me - not you Dil or Ida. =) You've been nice for sharing with me your problems. I feel very much loved. Thank you~! Oh and those friends are neglecting me - i guess - maybe because they don't call me unless i text them or there's something they really need to say to me. Other than that, we ignored each other, which is just saddening and hurtful. But i couldn't be bothered to call them up because i'm using a prepaid card and my outgoing calls are destroying my credit. Therefore i don't call people - people call me. =)

But i'm tired of complaining for nothing to happen. I cried blood also they're never going to change however nice i am to them. They wanna keep secrets from me, fine, whatever. I'm keeping stuffs from them too. They wanna keep me in the dark for the fun of it, fine, i'll do the same. They wanna ignore me and wait for me to come to them, do things for them, and pretend that they're the only friends i ever want, well don't mind me i have better friends than those who ignore me and treat me as a non-existent being. I've had enough of gurlfren fighting with another gurlfren. It's tiring, useless, and heartbreaking no matter how you try to protect it. So whatever larh, they only come to me when they need me but won't come to me when they don't, fine wit me.

But i say this also... no point. I do miss them, very dearly. But who wouldn't diss your friends right? No one's peachy perfect, of course you would hate something about the friend that you cherish. Why won't you? I admit, i DISLIKE people's attributes, but that doesn't mean they don't dislike mine either, right? I'm just saying that i miss them and i am pretty hurt that they don't confide in me when they have problems. They overlook me and talk to themselves about things they thought aren't important to discuss with me. How heartbreaking is that? Am i not reliable to help? Just because i yell and scream at them doesn't give you the right to leave me in the dark. I act that way because i care about them, and i am angry of who treats them unjustly. Wouldn't you be pissed if your friend's being bullied or stepped on? Of course you would, right? So what's wrong with me being angry? Wouldn't everyone else feel the same??? Sheesh! Gimme a break! It's not fair that i am the only one who doesn't know a thing. It's not fair that they don't trust me. It's not fair that i am not reliable enough for them. I hate it. I hate the fact that it's true. I hate the fact that i am useless to them, and incapable to doing anything for them when i have done EVERYTHING just for them. How cruel are they??

Oh well, whatever. I'm not going to waste my time wallowing in this shit. I'm just gonna ignore them until they start talking to me. Ignore me all you want, i'm gonna do the same, gurlfren, so don't be surprised. =(

Anyways, here are some boring piccys i took to colour up my post. LOL. My mother spoiled me with Maybelline Blush Mousse and IN2IT eyeshadow set. Gosh i was so shocked that she'd spoil me like this - but she bought stuffs of her own so it was a win-win situation. LOL. I love her. And her birthday's coming up and i suggested to my dad that we get her the Lacoste Pink Parfum me and mom fell in love with at BHG Century Square. But dad said her handphone was her birthday present so we're not gonna get her anything else. Sheesh. Why can't we spoil HER instead? LOL. Oh and the tall bottle behind it is my mom's Issey Miyake's parfum. It's a very strong parfum, i just realised, and it doesn't seem to be of my taste. But nemind, lemme smell different for once. =p



My laptop wallpaper. =)



Behind: Issey Miyake Eau de Toilette
Front: IN2IT Eyeshadow & Maybelline BlushStudio Mousse [03 Berry Delight]

Wow, this looks like i'm advertising. LOL. Well then, before i say anything more i better leave. =) Chinese New Year is coming so to those who are celebrating - HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! GONG XI FA CAI!! =D

XOXO

Lana