friends become traitors

I'M TIRED. I'm tired of ignoring the wrong things they do. I'm tired of making up excuses for them so i could forgive and forget - when i know well i can't do such thing. I'm tired of loving them like sistaz when they're not treating me as such. Why can't all my friends see how much i do for them? How many times i've been their shoulder to cry on, how many times i've been wiping their tears away, and how many times i've helped them? WHY CAN'T THEY BLOODY SEE WHAT I DO FOR THEM? HOW MUCH TIME I SACRIFICED, HOW MUCH TLC I GIVE FOR THEM, AND HOW MUCH EXCUSES I MADE FOR THEM SO I COULD IGNORE THEIR CRUELTY?!

Simply put: I AM TIRED. I am tired of doing this. Too many people have dampened my spirit and heart and i am just bloody tired. I am not bothered to make up excuses. I am not bothered to forgive and forget what they do. I am not even bothered to understand their reasons because i know it'll end up ridiculous and unfair TO ME. Just because i get angry at certain things they tell me, DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA BE ANGRY MY WHOLE LIFE! YOU'RE JUST MAKING EXCUSES TO HIDE YOUR SECRETS! How cruel and low can they get?! What is this? Now i don't understand the true meaning of friendship. I don't understand it any longer. I've suffered enough of this pain, bawled too much tears to comprehend why i became such a crybaby over it, and i've given them too much face it's to a point where it's useless. USELESS.

I am making an effort to not hurt them, to be careful with their feelings, and what do i get? NOTHING BUT CRUELTY AND UNFAIRNESS. Nothing but that. How can i love them if they're not going to love me? How am i going to treat them like my sistaz when they don't treat me the same? They wanna huddle together and keep secrets from me because they're afraid of how i'm gonna react?! WELL, YOU ARE ONE HUGE COWARD. FACE THE CONSEQUENCES IF YOU'RE SO AFRAID! I FACED MINE, WHY CAN'T YOU FACE YOURS?! YOU SAY YOU HATE BACKSTABBERS, LIARS, HYPOCRITES. BUT YOU'RE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF ONE AND I HATE IT.

I just wanna rub it in your face and tell you that you are one of them, but because i care about you and your FEELINGS, i kept my mouth shut. The biggest regret i made, was to have written something so sweet in your profile, and to have been bombed down with the biggest betrayal i've ever encountered. Only you can pull it off, no one else.

[To readers: Forgive me, truly. I have no one to talk to and i just cannot take it when it comes to betrayal. I've had enough of disloyalty, enough of hypocrites who say they love me when they don't. I've just had enough. And i am sorry if i made you pissed at what i'm saying but please, do not flame, just blog-hop to somewhere else.]

I'VE HAD ENOUGH.