dreadful

all her life she's been waiting
waiting for a miracle to bless her troubled life
but the longer she waited,
only rain washed over her
yet she continued to wait
she couldn't stop herself for being so stupid
to her, waiting has never been painful

she thought maybe the sun would come after the rainstorm
and the grey clouds would part, giving way for the warm sunshine
giving hope to children who smiles upon the sight of rainbows
giving warmth to people who'd been hurt by that downpour
she guessed that if she wait long enough,
God would see how much she want warmth to shelter her cold heart once again
if she waited long enough, prayed hard enough,
God would not blind her from illusions and make her believe in reality once more

but she doesn't want to see,
refused to see what reality has brought her
for reality is no longer kind or gentle,
nor understanding or caring.
reality has now become her greatest enemy,
her most dreadful nightmare
and yet, sunshine was still her top prayer
sunshine can only make her feel whole again

sunshine was like a man's arms,
wrapping itself around her body,
keeping her safe from harm and harsh truths
preventing her from getting hurt
sunshine was like a tender kiss to her lips,
passionate yet calm,
slow and steady,
beckoning her to kiss back and feel the love.

but rain continued, pouring harder and harder
how can she pray for sunshine when there's no chance of it happening?
how can she hope for something so far out of reach?
is it that impossible?
is it that unreachable?
is it too much to ask from you, God?
why can't she pray for a warm day once in awhile?
why can't she pray that the rain should rest, to give way for the sun?
why can't she pray for him to return to her arms and make her whole again?
why must she suffer through the loneliness this heavy rain has cursed her with?
rain destroys everything,
even her happiness.

why can't sunshine come and save her?
God... why can't i be saved?