pouring out depression

Day: Thursday

Time: 1005

Weather: Cool, Mildly Sunny

Music: Quiet Hushes, and Muffled Whispers

Craving of the Moment: MY MP3! It died on me!!!!!! *cries*

Pictures: Imagine me sitting in front of you, smiling
:D

Forgive the lack of updating but after reading my dearest DILY's blog, i feel like blogging all of a sudden. So here i am, seated beside my attractive classmate - chinese, however - and his best buddy - all rugged and naive - dreading the upcoming presentation that should've been done weeks ago. Apparently, we all suck at this subject and ended up tweaking our program according to the sample. Not wholesale though, which i'm pretty proud of. But i gotta admit, i hardly did anything. Which is why i'm worried like hell the minute i woke up. I did surrender my services, but i guess my interests and my mind are far from school, prolly in the soft squishy cottony things that are the clouds. Haiz..

Past few days hadn't been my ultimate fave coz, for one thing, i've been having the feeling that i'll never be able to enjoy being 21 on my birthday. But besides my initial dreading even before i hit 20 that being 21 makes us (Tassha and myself) sound like we're grandparents, i've never looked forward to being 21 at all. Now, as the day crept closer, i get more depressed than i've ever been. Yes, i talked about it with my friends, but hardly any of them understood. But i am grateful, to Dily, that you talked me out of my misery and made me a tad bit better. Not entirely, but a little. :)

I dont know what got me thinking like this; prolly coz of Tassha already 21 and she seemed fine with new acquaintances and all, or that a certain someone found a quick replacement within 3 months, or maybe i'm just plain pathetic and lonely, and maybe i have lost my entire self along the way. I guess this is what happens, huh? Feels like i'm being punished. But i guess thats how life is: you get punished, yet at the same time rewarded for something you've either done, or hadn't done.

Other than feeling blue every single damn time, my school term's coming to a close, and Year 3 had never seemed more bleak and terrifying than it already is. Not only am i traumatised for life that my Major Project will be total Hell, or that my Student Internship will be boring as crap, but i'm never ever going to have fun. I hardly had a day where its full of fun, fun, fun.

Well, thats it i guess. I'm not gonna drag more of my depression any further. I'll have complains against my name soon if i keep this up. lol.

XOXO

Take care and God bless.